Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
