naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
