she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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