id be glad to
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
