we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
