her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
