i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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