Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
