her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I came so hard my ears popped.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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