What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
