I need help removing her.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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