YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
