All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
