You're so nebulous sometimes
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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