he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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