We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
