He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
