Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
