i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
