i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
