We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
God, I missed his penis.
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