Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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