soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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