WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
