Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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