so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
