All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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