Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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