i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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