We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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