She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
