Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That accounts for only three of the penises
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
