so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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