I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
