oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
