Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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