My brain says no but my pants say off.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize