Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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