Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
