I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Randomize
