YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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