Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize