have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
