well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
