I heard we made out
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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