gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
