I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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