At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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