Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
