on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize