I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
