So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
