sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
