keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
