I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You dont lie about slip and slides
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
