We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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