he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
