He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
