Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
