k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
