What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
