Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
