8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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