I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
