you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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